Loosing my power almost caused an existential crisis….

A week or so ago, we had an extremely intense lightening storm and rain in the ‘sunshine’ state. As I sat in my bed that night, reading my kindle, I thought about shutting off the lights and watching the lightening storm from the safety of my house.

Then, the electricity went out.

And instead of taking advantage of this and watching the lightning storm as I had planned to do. I sat in my room for another 5 minutes, unable to tear myself away from the one source of light in my room: my phone.

And my phone was about to die.

Cue beginning of existential crisis.

I need my phone. I need the knowledge that at each moment, I have the option of distracting myself from the world around me. And as I clutched unto my phone for dear life, it started getting warmer in my room, because the AC went out with the power. And panic really started setting in. Because I need the AC. I hate being hot, especially if I am trying to sleep. My body goes into overdrive in the heat. And then I left the comfort of my phone and I had to stumble around in my house with only the flashlights from my family’s emergency store to guide me. I need the light. With my eye condition, seeing isn’t easy even with good lighting.

And as we waited for the electricity to come on, I found myself questioning my attachment to things. Wanting light makes sense: darkness is no honest man’s friend. But AC and my phone? These are lesser necessities. These aren’t even necessities. These are luxuries that I can’t seem to get by without. I, a human, a person with a soul and infinite value, could not stand the thought of not having my phone at my disposal. I could not survive an hour without complaining and ordering people around because I was hot and my plan of going to sleep was ruined by an hour long power outage.

Who is this person, afraid to think apart from her phone? Who are any of us to allow a little discomfort and suffering to control how we feel, how we react?

So, since then, I have tried to put a little more distance between myself and my luxuries. I have taken to turning away from my phone as my only source of entertainment and even started bonding with my brothers again, by playing board games (remember those? I barely did)

I highly encourage you to branch out as well, and to see if you can cut out a little of the unnecessary. You might appreciate the necessary even more.


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